It’s like my fingers are the dam that traps the flood of words that rush…
The force of which could crush me. Does me.
Thrusts me into an unspeakable disaster, when reality is gnawing at my feet
While I chase after it.
I can’t scream. I can’t cry. There’s just too much inside. And now it’s trapped at my mouth. When in truth, I’m bleeding out. Of ever pour, every orifice.
The death of this is the cause of this. And then I remember “It is what it is.”
But it’s not enough. There’s still a dam. Damn this….Damn this…
It isn’t shifting fast enough, healing fast enough. The last of love. Trickling away down a drain flooded by the pouring rain. To be lost forever amongst all of the drips.
Forget the trips. The laughter. It was never intended to be “Happily Ever After.”
A fairytale I never had, but wanted so deeply fucking bad.
It’s past my grip. My grasp at last has failed. This love we had has now derailed….
Yet somehow I am no longer a passenger, but the spectator of all things that have crashed. Standing just beyond the wreckage, a wreck which I have seen several times in the past.
And I am too filled with too much to even release…So I beg, please:
Let the tears flow so I can finally figure out how to truly let it go..